Supporting Children and Family Members Through Pet Loss
As we continue the series, “How to Know When It’s Time to Say Goodbye to a Pet,” we turn our attention to a difficult aspect: children and family members. Transparently, I am not a parent, nor will I be. This post is written with love and optimism; I also try to engage with outside sources to bolster my perspective(s) on difficult discussions.
Part 7: Supporting Children and Family Members Through Pet Loss
Losing a pet affects the whole family — including children, partners, and even other pets. By approaching grief with honesty, empathy, and shared rituals, families can find healing together. As a reminder, grief is different for everyone; it is complex and it can be messy. There is not a one-size-fits-all model.
Talking to Children About Pet Loss
Children process loss differently depending on their age and development. Use clear, honest language — avoid euphemisms like “put to sleep,” which can confuse or frighten young kids (National Alliance for Children’s Grief, 2021). Instead, explain in simple terms that their pet was very sick or old and has died. Encourage children to express their feelings through drawing, stories, or sharing memories. Validate their grief by letting them see yours, too (Schonfeld & Quackenbush, 2009).
Supporting the Whole Family
Grief may appear differently across family members. Some may need quiet reflection, while others want to talk or stay busy. It’s helpful to create space for everyone’s emotions without judgment. Even other household pets may grieve — changes in behavior, appetite, or energy are common. Keeping routines steady, offering extra affection, and allowing them to see or sniff the body (if possible) can help animals understand the loss (American Kennel Club, 2020).
Creating Memorials and Rituals
Family memorials can be powerful tools for healing. Light a candle together, plant a tree, or create a “memory jar” where each person adds a favorite story or photo. Eternal Tides also offers keepsakes and personalized aquamation services to honor your pet’s legacy in meaningful ways. These moments not only commemorate your pet but also give everyone a chance to process and connect.
I recently read (and loved) this quote: “Grief is love in another form.” Supporting one another through it strengthens family bonds and teaches resilience across generations.
References
American Kennel Club. (2020). How dogs grieve the loss of a companion. https://www.akc.org
National Alliance for Children’s Grief. (2021). Talking to children about death. https://childrengrieve.org
Schonfeld, D. J., & Quackenbush, M. (2009). The grieving student: A teacher’s guide. Brookes Publishing.
