What Happens to Your Pet’s Grave When You Move?
The average American moves over 11 times in their lifetime, often for work, family, or housing costs (U.S. Census Bureau, 2023). That means even the most well-intentioned backyard grave may one day be left behind. For many families, the emotional toll of abandoning a pet’s final resting place can be unexpectedly intense—and irreversible.
Running Out of Room: Why Burial Isn’t a Sustainable Option
The truth is, burial takes up space most households can’t afford to give. In high-density areas, zoning restrictions or HOA policies often prohibit backyard burials altogether. Even in rural communities, land use is shifting: small farms are being subdivided into residential lots, and land that once seemed private and permanent can be sold, rezoned, or developed.
Is Backyard Pet Burial Legal? What You Need to Know
Laws governing pet burial vary not only from state to state, but sometimes by county or city. In many regions, home burial is only allowed under strict conditions—if it’s allowed at all. For instance, some states require the burial site to be a minimum distance from water sources, wells, or inhabited structures. Others mandate a minimum depth, typically around three to five feet, to prevent scavenging and environmental exposure
How Backyard Pet Burial Can Harm Wildlife in the Eastern Great Plains
One major concern is the exposure of scavengers to euthanasia drugs like pentobarbital. These drugs remain active in the bodies of buried animals for months and can be lethal to any animal that digs them up. In Fargo and nearby areas, scavengers like red foxes, coyotes, raccoons, and domestic dogs are all known to investigate disturbed soil. Rural farms often attract these animals, increasing the risk of exposure in agricultural zones (North Dakota Game and Fish Department, 2022).
Why Backyard Pet Burial May Harm the Environment
When a pet is buried after euthanasia, residual chemicals—especially pentobarbital, a barbiturate used in nearly all euthanasia procedures—can remain in the body. Over time, these chemicals can leach into soil and groundwater, potentially contaminating local water supplies or harming wildlife that may come into contact with the remains.
Supporting Children and Family Members Through Pet Loss
Talking to Children About Pet Loss":
Children process loss differently depending on their age and development. Use clear, honest language — avoid euphemisms like “put to sleep,” which can confuse or frighten young kids (National Alliance for Children’s Grief, 2021). Instead, explain in simple terms that their pet was very sick or old and has died. Encourage children to express their feelings through drawing, stories, or sharing memories. Validate their grief by letting them see yours, too (Schonfeld & Quackenbush, 2009).
Preparing for the Goodbye – Creating a Gentle Transition
Creating a calm, comforting space can make a meaningful difference. Consider playing soothing music, lighting a candle, or wrapping your pet in a favorite blanket. Invite close family or friends to say goodbye, if it feels right. Even young children can participate in age-appropriate ways, like drawing a picture or writing a note (McClain, 2021).
Considering Your Pet’s Perspective: Understanding Animal Comfort
Losing a beloved companion animal is one of the most difficult experiences a pet owner will face. Whether through natural passing, euthanasia, or a sudden event such as an accident, the loss is likely to leave a lasting impression on a person. The loss of an animal is accompanied by aftercare decisions such aquamation, burial, or cremation as well; this can call-forth emotions such as guilt and grief which can feel overwhelming. While these feelings are natural, it’s important to recognize that saying “goodbye” and letting go are both acts of love for yourself and for your animal.
Emotional Preparedness: How to Navigate Guilt and Grief
Losing a beloved companion animal is one of the most difficult experiences a pet owner will face. Whether through natural passing, euthanasia, or a sudden event such as an accident, the loss is likely to leave a lasting impression on a person. The loss of an animal is accompanied by aftercare decisions such aquamation, burial, or cremation as well; this can call-forth emotions such as guilt and grief which can feel overwhelming. While these feelings are natural, it’s important to recognize that saying “goodbye” and letting go are both acts of love for yourself and for your animal.
Balancing Medical Treatment and Compassionate Care
Understanding “How to Know When It’s Time to Say Goodbye to a Pet” is no easy task; it is complex and the added role of emotions can increase the intensity of the experience. Some people believe in “better a week early than a day late” on the topic, while others want every minute possible with their animal companions. We’re not here to pass judgement on your philosophical approach, but Eternal Tides will remain ready to assist in the difficult aspects of that inevitable “goodbye.”
The Role of Your Veterinarian: Making Informed Decisions
As we explore the theme of “How to Know When It’s Time to Say Goodbye to a Pet,” we turn to our community of skilled professionals. In cases such as people choosing plan-ahead servicesas well as when losing a friend is a total surprise, I get asked often about what to look for and/or what was missed. Perhaps this article might help craft your next conversation with your animal’s healthcare provider.
Recognizing the Signs: When Your Pet’s Quality of Life Changes
The nature of Eternal Tides’ business is forever tried to inevitable “bad days” for people who love their animals. For some people, the end comes quickly and without much warning; others endure a slow march with different signs of declining health and comfort. Hard is hard… regardless of how it comes, losing a friend is hard. In this series, I aim to explore the theme of “How to Know When It’s Time to Say Goodbye to a Pet.”
The Power of Space in Community Healing (part 6 of 6)
Stewardship of life extends beyond our relationships with animals—it includes our responsibility to the planet. Traditional cremation releases carbon emissions and particulate matter, contributing to environmental degradation (Herring, 2020). Aquamation, an eco-conscious alternative, aligns with the values of pet owners who seek a final act of care that respects both their beloved companions and the earth. As awareness grows, communities that embrace aquamation set new standards for sustainable aftercare.
Beyond Four Walls: Extending Support Through Aftercare (part 5 of 6)
Environmental psychologist Kaplan (1995) suggests that restorative environments—places that encourage reflection and emotional renewal—extend beyond structured spaces into nature and personal rituals. This idea informs our approach at Eternal Tides, where we encourage families to create their own remembrance practices, whether by scattering “cremains” (ashes) in a meaningful location, planting a memorial garden, or crafting personal tributes. These acts transform grief into an ongoing relationship with memory.
How Space Supports Grief Processing (part 4 of 6)
According to color psychology, different hues evoke different emotional responses. Soft greens, blues, and yellows, for example, have been shown to create a calming effect, reduce stress, and promote emotional healing (Elliot & Maier, 2014). While different hues of colors create different feelings from different audiences, often influenced by context and culture, one can often come to agreement with others about shared interpretations of colors
The Role of Space in Remembrance (part 3 of 6)
The role of space in remembrance is not just about location but about intention. As Yi-Fu Tuan (1977) noted, a place becomes meaningful when infused with experience. That is why our Memorial Space is more than a room—it is a sanctuary where pet owners can pause, reflect, and celebrate a lifetime of companionship.
Creating a Healing Environment: Intention and Purpose (Part 2 of 6)
At Eternal Tides, our Memorial Space and Comfort Room are more than locations for final goodbyes. They are intentionally designed spaces that support grieving pet owners, transforming loss into remembrance. Research in environmental psychology suggests that healing spaces incorporate natural elements, gentle lighting, and thoughtful design to promote emotional well-being.
Beyond a Place: How Space Shapes the Grieving Process (Part 1 of 6)
Grief is a deeply personal journey, shaped by emotion, memory, and environment. When we lose a beloved pet, the spaces where we say goodbye, reflect, and heal can profoundly impact our ability to process loss. Inspired by the work of philosopher Michel de Certeau, who distinguished between "place" (a physical location) and "space" (a meaningful environment shaped by movement and interaction), we understand that grief does not simply unfold in a place—it transforms within a space.
The Ripple Effect: When One Compassionate Choice Inspires Another
From the generosity of organized giving days in the community to the ongoing stewardship of pet owners providing care through every stage of life, these choices shape a more compassionate world. Thoughtful end-of-life decisions for pets, such as choosing aquamation or donating supplies to shelters, are not just final acts of love; they set an example for others, reinforcing a culture of care and responsibility. Studies show that witnessing generosity encourages people to engage in similar behaviors, creating a chain reaction of kindness
Giving Back in Goodbye: How Pet Aftercare Reflects Generosity
Pet aftercare is more than a practical decision; it’s an opportunity to give back, both to our companions and to the world around us. By selecting ethical and sustainable aftercare options, pet guardians can ensure their final act of stewardship reflects the same generosity they showed throughout their pet’s life. Thoughtful decisions, such as aquamation over traditional cremation or donating to organizations that support pet loss resources, allow families to turn grief into an act of kindness