Where Communication Can Break Down After a Pet’s Death

Grief is rarely neat. In the hours and days following a pet’s death, words have to travel between three different groups: the grieving family, the veterinary clinic, and the aftercare provider. And somewhere along that journey, even simple details can get tangled.

Communication breakdowns don’t often happen because people don’t care—they happen because everyone involved is overwhelmed in a different way. Families are absorbing a life-changing absence. Veterinary teams are balancing empathy with the demands of a full caseload. Aftercare providers, though focused on dignity and precision, often enter the conversation late, when emotions are already high.

This is where the “chain of custody” becomes so important—and so fragile. It’s a term that sounds clinical, but in reality, it describes the handoff of something irreplaceable. Every phone message, every signature, every note scribbled on a chart is part of that chain. When one step is rushed or misunderstood, clarity can disappear. And in the vacuum that follows, families are left to fill the silence with assumptions.

It’s worth remembering that at the center of this process is not a body, but a story. A relationship. A family trying to find their footing after loss. What we often call “breakdowns” in communication are really moments where the story gets lost.

This series exists to surface those moments so that we, as a community—families, clinics, and aftercare partners—can tell the story better, together.

References

• Bova, F., & DeCoster, J. (2022). Communication challenges during emotionally charged events: Lessons from high-stress professions. Journal of Applied Communication Research, 50(3), 221–239.

• Goleman, D. (2023). Optimal: How emotional intelligence shapes human connection. Bantam Books.

• Schwartz, R. (2021). Why small miscommunications cause big trust gaps. Harvard Business Review, 99(4), 112–119.